急要英语小故事，小笑话，小谜语，字数100到80个左右，要有翻译，并且要有谜底，字词简单易懂
Xiaohua started to learn English about 6 months ago and is now eager to practice his English whenever and whereever he can. Today is Sunday, as usual, Xiaohua came to the central park to find chances of practicing his English. Accidently, he bumped into an American tourist.
"I am sorry," said Xiaohua.
"I am sorry too (two)," replied the American tourist. Thinking that using numbers may indicate the degree of apology, Xiaohua continued,
"I am sorry three." Confused by Xiaohua's remarks, the American tourist asked,
"What are you sorry for (four)?"
"I am sorry five," Xiaohua quickly replied.
晓华6个月前开始学习英文。他现在急于找机会练习他的
英文。今天是星期天，同往常（以往的星期天）一样，晓华来到了中央公园寻找机会练习英文。一u不小心，他走路时碰撞到了一位美国游客。
“对不起，” 晓华对美国游客说。
“我也对不起，” 美国游客对晓华说。
由于英文里的“也”与“2”发音相似，晓华以为在英文里，数字可以用来表达“更诚恳的道歉。 晓华接着对美国游客说，
”对不去3。“
对于晓华的讲话有点迷惑，美国游客问道：
”你为啥对不起。“
由于英文里的“为啥”与“4”发音相似，晓华立即回答说：
“对不起5。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答
什么人不能住在房子里?
Key： snowman（雪人）
2．What never asks questions but gets a lot of answers?
什么东西永远不问问题但是却能得到很多答案?
Key： dictionary （字典）
3．What question can you never answer "Yes" to?
什么问题你永远也不能回答"是"
Key： Are you dead?（你死了吗?）
4、You have it．You read it．There're some pictures in it?
你拥有它，你可以阅读它，它有些图片在里面，它是什么?
Key： book（书）
5、A mouse has a large pocket． What is it?
一种鼠有一个大袋子，它是什么?
Key： a kangaroo（袋鼠）
6、It has a head ，but no neck．It has a body，but no warmth．NO feet，but can travel?
它有头，但没有脖子，有身体，但不温暖，没有脚，却能旅行。
Key： a car（汽车）
英语故事： A milkmaid was going to the market.She carried her milk in a pail on her head.
As she went along she began calculating what she would buy after she had sold the milk.
"I'll buy a new dress, and when i go to the ball,all the young men will dance with me!"
As she spoke she tossed her head back.the pail immediately fell off her head,and all the milk was spolt.
The girl went back without anything.she felt very sad."ah,my child,"said her mother.
"do not count your chickens before they are batched
送牛奶的女孩和她的桶
一个送牛乃的女孩去市场。她手里拎着一桶奶。
在她进去时候，她考虑到：卖了奶，她该买什么呢？
“我要买条新裙子，然后去参加误会，年轻的先生们将全和我跳舞。”
说着说着，她摇了摇头。提桶从手中打翻，牛奶全洒了。
女孩什么都没买就回去了。她觉得很沮丧。“啊，我的孩子，”她的妈妈说，“不要过于乐观。”
Answer;Oh,I know. It's a cat. 中文：它喜欢鱼．它能在夜晚捉住老鼠．它会爬树．它有两只黄色或蓝色的眼睛．这个用英语怎么说？回答：噢，我知道．
有时落在山腰，有时挂在树梢，有时像面圆镜，有时像把镰刀。 (猜自然物)
谜底：月亮
悬赏分为5，只能给回这么多了～
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