急求50则英文小笑话~~
1、兔子去钓鱼，第一天没钓到；第二天又空手而回；第三天眼看就要回去了，一条鱼从水里跳出来喊到：你个傻瓜，再拿萝卜当诱饵，我扁死你。
2、儿子：爸爸，今天我不想上学。
爸爸：怎么啦？
儿子：上周农场死了只鸡，第二天中午饭就吃“红烧鸡块”，三天前农场死了头猪，第二天中午就吃“红烧猪肉。”
爸爸：那又怎么啦？
儿子：昨天我们的英语老师去世了。
3、老师想让体育委员确认一下全班女生来齐没有，就对他说：“你去把全班女生清一下。”体委是个小色鬼，忙问：“亲哪个？”老师说：“我晓得还要你去！”
4、某君牙痛，他胆子小，说：大夫，想办法让我壮壮胆，牙医让他喝了一斤白酒：这下你有胆子?“是的大夫，我看谁还敢动我的牙！”
5、当我向神许愿时，神问我许什么愿？我说：请照顾正在看短信的人，保佑她永远平安幸福，好运不断！即使不小心掉进河里，爬上来也会发现满口袋都是鱼！
6、以前朋友都爱说你是猪!你很不肖的说:我是猪才怪!于是朋友都叫你猪才怪!长久以往你终于忍不住了.当着众人面对我大声吼出:我不是猪才怪!
7、阿凡提致富后,开着小汽车周游世界,可是刚出门车子就陷在沙漠里,看来还是小毛驴有用,到哪去找呢?阿凡提一想,通讯那么发达,给毛驴发个信息吧!
8、当魔鬼在你窗前拍打着玻璃，蛤蟆正钻进你的被窝，毒蛇在你头顶荡漾，蚯蚓在你脚趾穿梭，蜈蚣已爬进你的鼻孔，别怕！我正驾着蜗牛赶来救你了，驾！驾！
9、听说你早上倒垃圾不慎掉进垃圾坑怎么爬也怕不上来，正好来了个捡破烂的老太太伸手把你拉起来说：城里人真浪费，不就是长的丑了点嘛，也不能仍了啊～～
10、一胆小的病人被推进手术室，他要大夫和护士都把口罩摘下来，大夫:不能摘，这是规定。病人：别骗我了，是怕出了事儿被我认出来吧。
11、饭馆里一顾客很不满意自己盘里的龙虾：这龙虾怎么少了一只腿？服务员：恐怕是它打架的时候被打掉的。顾客：去，把那只打赢的给我换来！
12、A买了顶假发，戴上后，问朋友：我这顶头发好看不？朋友：它让我想起一件事，A：是我年轻时的英姿？朋友：不是，我想起我家的拖把还没买。
13、猪去参加招聘会,老板问他"你会什么?"猪自豪的说:"我什么都会,只有两样不会."老板说:"我靠,这么牛B呀!你都什么不会呀?"猪说:"这也不会,那也不会"
14、为你，我曾经偷偷流过泪！我经常问自己值得吗？我无法告诉自己喜欢你是对还是错，记得最后流泪的晚上，我拿着刀恶狠狠地对你说：该死的洋葱，我再也不吃了
15、某君乘公车常掉钱包，一天上车前，某君把厚厚的一叠纸折好放进信封，下车后发现信封被偷。第二天，某君刚上车不久，觉得腰间有一硬物，摸来一看，是昨天的那个信封，信封上写着：请不要开这样的玩笑，影响正常工作，谢谢！
16、早晨我吃不下饭.因为我想你. 中午我吃不下饭,因为我很想你. 晚上我吃不下饭,因为我疯狂想你! 夜里我失眠!!! 因为我饿!!!!
17、上帝送我个宝盆，想啥它就变啥，我不小心想了你，一次它就变出一个你，我止不住想它就不住的变，最后满屋都是你，我就愁呀：这么多小猪咋喂呀！
18、一个三岁的小男孩拉着一个三岁的小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责吗？”小男孩说：“当然能！我们都不是一两岁的人了！”
19、四只老鼠吹牛：甲：我每天都拿鼠药当糖吃；乙：我一天不踩老鼠夹脚发痒；丙：我每天不过几次大街不踏实；丁：时间不早了，回家抱猫去咯。
20、动物园开运动会，鸭子和螃蟹一起到达，裁判说，你们石头剪子布吧，鸭子说，TMD我一次也赢不了，我一出就是布，他一出就是剪子。
21、给我两张你的一寸相片好吗?要特清楚的那种.然后我会拿来贴在我的袜子上,别人一见我的袜子就会羡慕地说:哇!鳄鱼牌的耶!
22、一懒猫疯狂地追求一老鼠终于结婚，婚后猫对老鼠百般呵护，老鼠很快变胖，老鼠很感动：亲爱的，为什么对我这么好呀！猫嘿嘿笑道：等你在胖点就知道了！
23、大尉正在对新入伍的士兵讲述拿破仑如何在滑铁卢战役中失败的事，一士兵听完后，自言自语道：“如果拿枪拿炮，才有可能获得战役的胜利，拿个破轮怎能不败呢？”
24、准备一百元..对折对折再对折,放在地上踩N下.拿起来,看一下上面的人有没有流鼻血,,如果有流的话是真的.没有流是假的
25、一个口音很重的县长到村里作报告：「兔子们，虾米们，猪尾巴！不要酱瓜，咸菜太贵啦！！」
(翻译：同志们，乡民们，注意吧！不要讲话，现在开会啦！！)
26、不要酱瓜，我捡个狗屎给你们舔舔．．．
（翻译：不要讲话，我讲个故事给你们听听．．）
27、某拷羊肉串的被调去当火 葬工，没几天便被开除了，因为他每次都会问死者家属：你们想烤几分熟
28、老鹰追杀兔子，却因为兔子一句话而掉下摔死了，知道兔子说什么吗？它对老鹰叫道：你没戴胸罩！老鹰一听慌忙捂 胸，结果……
29、一女子在食 人 族的追击下，跑进一条死胡同，由于惊吓，尿 湿了裤子。食人族见状大骂：真可惜，汤都弄 撒了
30、一个电工走入手术室，对一位戴着氧气罩的垂 危病人说道：喂！你听好，好好深呼吸，我需要停电五分钟！
31、一只蚂蚁对大象说：“我 有 了，是你的！”大象听后晕了过去，醒后对蚂蚁说：“我还想要一个！”蚂蚁听后被吓死了！
32、春运时火车非常拥挤，某君趁停车时将屁 股伸出窗外大便。车下的巡检员发现大喊：叼雪 茄的胖子，把头缩回去
33、某女入公厕方便，正为忘了带纸犯愁，一叠手 纸从隔壁墙缝塞过来。“谢谢，你是谁呀？”“不用谢，我是雷峰”
34、计划生育部长下乡考察，见一老农，问道“老乡，知道为什么近亲不能结婚吗？”老农搓着手，憨厚的说：呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵，亲戚，太熟，不好下手
35、圣旨：奉天承运，皇帝召曰：由于你不爱我，罚你三天不准拉 屎，拉 屎不准带纸，带纸不过三尺，直到憋 死为止！钦 此，领 纸！
36、
从前有一姑娘叫乔妮娜，她和一个叫沙德的相爱了，他们在一起看星星。当流星划过天空时，他们将这颗流星命名为：乔妮娜沙德星
37、 老鼠给猫打电话：哈 喽啊！饭已OK啦！下来米西吧！猫趴鼠洞前伸前爪想把老鼠掏出来。吭 哧、吭 哧地掏了一夜，第二天掏 声依旧。
38、
蚊子哭着回家，妈妈问咋啦？小蚊：爸爸死啦！蚊妈妈：他没带你去看演出？小蚊子：看了，可观众一鼓掌，爸爸没躲开。
39、蜜蜂妹炫耀自己的蜘蛛男友：他好歹有个自己的个人网 站。
40、心理测试：如果你和狗 熊赛跑，你希望：1.你比狗 熊跑得快；2.跑得一样快；3.你比狗熊跑得慢……
答案：1.你比禽 兽还禽 兽；2.你就是禽 兽；3.你 禽 兽 不 如。
41、心理测试：如果你和狗 熊赛跑，你希望：1.你比狗 熊跑得快；2.跑得一样快；3.你比狗熊跑得慢……
答案：1.你比禽 兽还禽 兽；2.你就是禽 兽；3.你 禽 兽 不 如。
42、猎人看到天上有只鸟，开了三枪都没打中，但那只鸟还是掉了下来，原来那只鸟看子弹没打中就拍胸脯说：吓死了，吓死了！
43、我在马路边，看到一分钱，刚要弯腰捡，原来是口痰，我 靠 他个 妈，谁吐这么圆？
44、医院的树阴下，一对情人在拥抱接 吻。一个医生看见了，过去对那男的说：“你真糊涂，施行人工呼吸，应该把她平放在地上才行，走开,让我来。”
45、瞎子骑车带瘸子，瘸子看路，突见深沟惊呼：沟沟沟！瞎子回首唱到：奥勒奥勒奥勒！于是二人坠入沟中！
46、:很怀念那段日子,你在我前面扭捏的走在乡间的小路,低着头,乡亲们见了我们都夸你:嘿,又漂亮又干净!也夸我:多好的孩子,这么小年级就出来放猪!
47、又是一次偶遇，你那水汪汪的大眼睛含情地望着，我我惊慌地想避开你的视线，你却紧追不舍，你的心情我懂，于是我边跑边喊：是谁家的狗没拴好？
48、这是个很老的传说：
在午夜12点整，拿起电话，按下12个0，你就会听见。。。
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49、今天晚上有流星雨，听说是大猪座的，到时会有一只大猪从天空飞过，可惜我要睡觉，你就好啦，有那么多人看着你飞！
50、那天刚睡着，收到一个短信：睡姿不对，重睡。
I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
一 Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
二 Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌？
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
When they pulled the absent-minded professor， half drowned, from the lake, he sputtered, “How absent-minded I am! I have just remembered that I can swim.”
健忘的教授
当人们把健忘的、淹得半死的教授从湖里拉上来时，他气急败坏地说道：“我真健忘，我刚刚才想起我会游泳！”
2、Father's Motto
teacher: My Children, remember this motto. “Give others more and leave for yourself less.”
Jack: It' just my father's motto!
Teacher: How noble your father's quality is! What's his occupation?
Jack: He is a boxer.
父亲的格言
老师：孩子们，记住这句格言：“多给予，少接受。”
杰克：那正是我父亲的格言！
老师：你父亲真是个品质高尚的人啊！他是干什么工作的？
杰克：它是个拳击手。
3、He Was Caught
“Polorius was kicked out of school for cheating.”
“how come?”
“He was caught, counting his ribs in a hygiene exam.”
他被抓住了
“波罗涅斯由于作弊被开除了”
“什么原因啊”
“在生理卫生考试中,他数自己的肋骨,结果被发现了.”
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两
只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一头鹿
The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了这头鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我？”
The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you? 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是问鹿：“为什么我不能吃你？”
The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me !"
鹿说：“因为我是国家二级保护动物，所以，你无论如何也不能吃了我！”
The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you !
老虎听完笑着说：“呵呵，那么我更应该要吃你了
Deer asked : " why ?"
鹿说：“为什么？”
" because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said
“因为我是国家一级动物！”老虎得意地说。
Two psychiatrists were at a convention. “What was your most difficult case?” one asked the other.
“Once I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world,” replied his colleague. “He believed that a wildly rich uncle in South America was going to leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a make�believe letter to arrive from a fictitious attorney. He never went out or did anything. He just sat around and waited.”
“What was the result?”
“It was an eight�year struggle, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived...”
两个精神病专家在一次会议上碰见了。其中一个问另一个：“你最棘手的病例是什么样的?”
“我曾有过一个病人，他生活在一个纯幻想的世界里，”他的同行回答。“他坚信南美有个大富翁叔叔要留给他一笔遗产。他整天等待着从一个虚构的律师那儿收到证实信。他从不出门，无所事事，只是坐着干等。”
“结果如何?”
“经过长达8年的努力，我终于把他给治好了。可就在那时，那封荒唐的信到了……”
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文：
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文：
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子：“为什么？”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
(Interviewing a volunteer for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games)
Interviewer: First, would you like to explain why you are interested in this job?
Interviewee: Well, I think it’s very meaningful to participate in something as special as this; you know, to be able to welcome overseas friends and to make them feel at home, what a privilege!
Interviewer: Nice, and what will you do when an overseas guest asks for help?
Interviewee: That’s easy. I’ll just try my best to help them! If they ask for directions, I’ll make sure they know where they are on the map and then point them in the right direction. If they need suggestions for entertainment, I’ll show them around. If they are short of money, I’ll… give them money!
Interviewer: Give them money? Are you sure? Why not give me some?
Interviewee: Hehe … sorry, that’s a mistake. I meant I’ll try my best to help them.
Interviewer: You’ve got the right idea, and have a very good attitude indeed. And by the way, what will you do if you encounter some unfriendly guests that have some unreasonable requests?
Interviewee: Well, in that case, I’ll stay calm and politely explain the reason why I can’t be of more assistance. Trust me. I’ll be able to find the balance between being a good host to foreigners and maintaining the dignity, virtue and honor of our Chinese traditions.
Interviewer: I understand it’s quite a delicate balance. And I’m very happy to see that you understand this too - you are hired!
Interviewee: Really? Hoo-ray!
Interviewer: Behave yourself!
Interviewee: Oh, yes sir!(Written by Tina; Level: Middle)
欢迎您2008年光临北京
(招聘2008年北京奥运会志愿者的一次面试)
面试官：首先，请解释一下你为什么会对这一工作感兴趣？
应聘者：嗯，我认为能亲身参与像北京奥运会这样特殊的历史事件是非常有意义的。你知道，能有机会欢迎来自五湖四海的国际友人，使他们宾至如归是件多么荣幸的事啊！
面试官：很好！那么当一位外国客人向你寻求帮助时，你会怎么办？
应聘者：很简单呀，我会尽力帮助他们！如果他们是问路，我保证让他们清楚他们当前在地图上的确切位置，再告诉他们应该怎么走；如果他们需要一些娱乐建议，我就带他们到处走走看看；如果他们缺钱，我就……给他们钱！
面试官：给他们钱？你确定？为什么不先给我点呢？
应聘者：嘿嘿……对不起，我说错了。我的意思是说我会尽最大努力帮助他们。
面试官：你的想法很正确，态度也非常好。对了，如果遇到一些不太友好的客人提出一些不尽合理的要求，你会怎么处理？
应聘者：嗯，碰到这种情况，我会保持冷静，礼貌地向他解释我不能提供这类帮助的原因。请相信我，我能在既当好外国客人的称职东道主，又能维护我们中华民族的尊严、美德与名誉间找到一种平衡。
面试官：我知道这是一种十分微妙的平衡，很高兴你已经明白了这一点，你被录取了！
应聘者：真的？万岁！
面试官：放规矩点！
应聘者：哦，是！
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