英语搞笑短剧，5—6人，20分钟左右。急！好了多加分
Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
（鄙人找不到后半部分，特来求救） 提问者： 冰魄の影魂 - 初级魔法师 三级 答复 共 3 条 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗…… （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
参考资料网站有更多选择。
六个人一定就是六人行“friends”了啊！http://jisburiedalive.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!5A850C38E6D6040F!224.entry 我给你个地址，自己去看吧
《六人行》，原文名《Friends》，也译称为《老友记》(下文称"《Friends》)，是美国NBC电视台从1994年开播、连续播出了10年的一部幽默情景喜剧。全剧共238集，每集大约20分钟左右。曾在1996年创下5,300万的收视记录。故事主要描述了住在纽约的六个好朋友从相识到后来一起经历了10年的生活中发生的一系列的故事，朋友间的生活、友谊、麻烦、欢笑、矛盾、爱情、工作等表现得淋漓尽致！Friends》之所以成了年轻人的宠爱，最关键在于六位主人公始终保持的乐观向上的人生态度。
很多人都觉得剧中六个主人公的思想单纯，没有那么多坏心眼。六个人都有点滑稽，经常闹出点无伤大雅的乱子，说着俏皮话，但没有一个人很深地想过什么问题，也没有人在背后算计别人。剧中绝大多数笑料都是这六个人偶尔暴露出的一些无知和夸张的表演。 除了以上说的这些以外，《Friends》甚至还可以在提高英语水平方面对我们有所帮助。据说，在中国最早推行这部电视剧的是一些私立性质的英语学校，因为《Friends》几位演员原汁原味的美式发音以及生活化的对白可以成为学习美语的最好教材。在上海的一所高中里，由于曾用《Friends》的剧本作为学校英语教学的口语教材，使得学生们又重新爱上了英语课。在一些高校，大学生们也开始风行用《Friends》来练习美国口语。
三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?
S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.
N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
T: Let's go guys!( 歌)
S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.
E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.
J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.
T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.
T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.
T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......
(谢幕)
多看下美剧的情景喜剧 比如好汉两个半 宋飞正传（推荐后者）
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